The Joy of being forgiven..

Have you ever hurt someone, and whenever you saw the individual you tried your best to avoid them? You’d walk the other direction if they were approaching, or you’d pretend to be in deep conversation with someone just to make yourself look busy? Guilty. But coming to think of it, how foolish of us to act in such a manner, since Christ commands us in Matthew 5:23-24:

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.”

I will never forget the day when the Lord brought a specific individual to mind that I needed to seek their forgiveness. I knew sooner or later, I had to face her, but I wanted it to be later than sooner. One of the things I learnt as a Christian is, if I desire to have a relationship with Christ, I must obey his word. It’s non-negotiable. But that certainly didn’t stop me from bargaining with Him and making up a bunch of excuses. I told him I didn’t know which part of the world she was, that I had no contact with her, and the list goes on. Excuse after excuse. Well, you wouldn’t believe this individual showed up to my church one Sunday morning. I was in utter shock and froze in my steps! Out of all the churches in Toronto, she was at mine! God has a funny way of getting our attention, and boy, did he ever get my attention that morning.

As the service came to an end I thought, “I can’t do this! I can’t ask her to forgive me, it’s way too painful and embarrassing!” You’re probably wondering what happened that led to this point… well, wonder no longer! As a teenager, I liked this guy, but he liked her. Well, I wasn’t too pleased about that, and as a result, I began to harass this innocent girl. I would prank her at school, spread rumors about her and eventually wrote her a hurtful letter. Looking back, it wasn’t worth it, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. So here I am, seeing her after 25 years, and what did I decide to do? Avoid her at all costs. I got into our car and told my husband to drive off. But it didn’t end there…

About four years later during service, l looked back and there she was again! I hadn’t escaped her after all, but this time the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “I brought her back for you once more.” Well, I knew what I had to do at that point. As I approached her, I was shaking as a leaf. I asked if I could speak with her and luckily she agreed. I began to tell her how sorry I was for the hurt I caused in the past, and asked for her forgiveness. Although she didn’t say anything at the time, my guess was that she was in shock. I would be too. However, as I walked away, I felt free. A weight was lifted off my shoulders, and fortunately, that was the beginning of many freeing moments to come. As the Lord brought others to mind, I chose to make it right, whether calling, sending a text, or meeting face to face; It was so amazing to hear those words, “I forgive you”.

You’d think something that brings such freedom would be a common practice; however it’s not common for people to confess their faults and ask for forgiveness, and it’s certainly not easy. It grieves my heart to see Christians worshipping together, yet not on speaking terms with each other; or sisters in the same family yet holding grudges, or spouses that sleep in the same bed, but refuse to reconnect. If it grieves my heart this much, I can only imagine how much it grieves the heart of God. As followers of Christ, we ought to walk by the Spirit and not gratify the lusts of our flesh. It is our flesh that takes pleasure in us walking in disunity with others. It is our flesh that tells us not to humble ourselves and ask for forgiveness; and it is our flesh that causes us to dishonor God. We are called to be the light of the world, and to walk in the light that we may have fellowship with God and others. How can we be in relationship with God whom we can’t see, yet the people we see everyday, we want nothing to do with them? How can this be? We must choose today who we will gratify. The flesh that brings bondage and discord, or the Spirit that brings freedom and fellowship?

As for the lady whom I asked forgiveness, I never received a response nor did we ever reconnect, but that’s besides the point. Although it was extremely difficult, I’m glad I made the right choice to humble myself and confess my fault. A choice I know that God is truly pleased with, and that’s what walking in obedience to God’s word is all about. You cannot control the actions of others, but you can control whether you are willing to honour God with your obedience.

Today, I enjoy living a life where I am forgiven by God and others. A life where I am free.