Oh how he loves my so...

Have you ever wondered, “how can someone love me after all the wrong things I’ve done?” Well, that was one concept I struggled with as a Christian. I couldn’t fathom how Jesus could love me despite all my wrongdoings. It was a difficult concept to grasp that left me constantly thinking I had to do something as repayment for what He’s done for me. My relationship was mainly bent on doing, since I wanted to ‘show’ God how much I loved him. I thought my walk with Christ was defined by constantly doing something, not realizing that his work was more than sufficient, I didn’t have to trust my own.

I believe this way of thinking was a result of my upbringing in the Catholic church. As a catholic, I had to confess my sins to the priest and repeat certain prayers based on the severity of my sins in order to be forgiven. Unfortunately, I was so consumed by the notion of being right before God that I often falsified my confessions to the priest for the sake of being “righteous’. I spent most of my Christian walk working to earn God’s love and forgiveness. I’d make sure to pray and read my bible, not for the sake of drawing closer to God, but to win God’s favour. One day I thought, “how can God love me so much, and why does he want to be in relationship with me?” Then it dawned on me, I don’t have to do anything for him to love me, because he’s already done it all. He loves me despite my failures and regardless of all my shortcomings, and trust me, I had numerous shortcomings! Whenever I fell short, I was afraid to confess my faults before God in thinking, “how could I hurt my heavenly father in this way?” Nevertheless, He wants me to confess to Him and I am thankful for his redemption that is available for me every time I fall short.

I am also grateful for the ways God reminds me of His love through the people He has brought in my life. I praise God for a husband who loves me like Christ loves His church. In the early stages of our marriage, I experienced that same kind of unconditional love from my husband, despite my emotional wounds and intentional sin toward him. It surprised me that he still chose to keep his vow to love me in my unloveable moments, and trust me, I did many regrettable things, things that should cause him to become extremely angry with me, yet he didn’t… most of the time! Due to my emotional baggage, it was difficult to accept such unconditional love, but eventually, I understood that his love was a mere and imperfect picture of the perfect love my heavenly Father has towards me.

As I reflect on the love my husband demonstrated, it reminds me of God’s love toward me. Even in moments when I feel unworthy to receive his love, he gives it to me. I’m reminded in Romans 5:8 'But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.’ It’s so amazing to know that Jesus loves us even while we were still his enemies! All we have to do is to accept his love.

It’s a joy to know the Father and be in relationship with him. I am His beloved daughter whom He loves unconditionally. Yes, even when I sin, He wraps His loving arms around me and I am reminded that redemption is available and I am His!

WILL YOU CHOOSE TO BE HIS TODAY?