I Am His Treasured Possession

God, is there a scripture you want me to focus on today? I asked the Lord as I finished praying one morning. Shortly after, Nehemiah 8 came to mind, and as I began reading, verse 10b caught my attention. 

“Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” I went on to read a different version, which stated, "Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

I believe God was truly speaking to me at that moment, because up until that point, I was deeply troubled by a situation and it was slowly eating away at my joy. I was no longer the bubbly person I was before - I was joyless. Days, weeks then months passed, and I found myself continually pondering over the situation, hoping that my deep wonderings would provide some clarity - but they were to no avail. I spent many days trying to figure out what I did wrong and although I approached the individual and asked what happened, I was never given a straight answer. I longed for the day when I would hear the words, “this is what you did to me, or this is what happened,  but that day hasn’t come… yet. 

Early this week, I heard a whisper from the Lord saying, “Debbie, the love you are craving from this person you will not find, because they don’t have love in their heart to give you. As a result, it’s impossible for them to offer you something they don’t have.” I realized whatever I was lacking could only be given to me by Christ. He alone can fill that void. He alone can satisfy my deep longing for unconditional love. He alone is the one who can heal my deeply wounded heart - so I allowed Him to do what only He could do and completely surrendered my pain and hurts; giving Him complete access to my heart. I am no longer a prisoner of my pain, as Christ is currently healing and mending the wounded areas of my heart that were caused by hurts, lies, betrayal and deceit. I can honestly tell you, I am at a much better place now than before. I found myself laughing the other day and my laughter got my attention. I was laughing! It felt good. 

The morning of March 10th, I received a notification from one of my subscriptions -   Daughters of the King. I was alarmed at the title for that day, as it read, “You can’t force love.” As I sat reading through the devotional, I thought the message was coming straight from the throne of God - I thought it was a message solely directed to me.

Allow me to share an excerpt with you:

“When it comes to love, you want the kind that comes naturally, not love that is forced. Maybe there’s someone in your life that you love a great deal, but they don’t feel the same way you do and it makes you want to change in order to keep them interested.

The thoughts in your mind may say, “I can make them love me. I can change and become whatever they want me to be. I can change careers, change my hair, get plastic surgery, have their child, leave everything I know and change the way I behave. They will love me; I just have to…” You shouldn’t have to change yourself to get love. If God loves you just how you are, anyone He sends your way will also love you just how you are.

At the heart of real love is acceptance. Anything you have to change to get, you will have to constantly change in order to keep. Love is most beautiful when it is unforced and not manipulated. Let love happen by God’s divine orchestration. Whatever He sends your way He will give you the grace and wisdom to handle.

You may not be the apple of someone’s eye, but you are surely the apple of God’s eye. You may not have a David/Jonathan kind of friendship, but you have one with the Lord. He loves you in every state and in every season. He took off His priestly garments and wrapped you in robes of righteousness. You will never be able to reach the bottom of God’s love for you!”

Wow. I was so spellbound that the only words I could utter were, Thank. You. Lord. After reading, “maybe there’s someone in your life that you love a great deal, but they don’t feel the same way you do,” I realized I was the person who was hurting in this particular relationship. I was trying, and trying to fix the relationship, not realizing the other person surely was not willing to rectify nor restore it. I also realized the enemy was using this situation as a distraction, causing me to hyperfocus on this broken relationship instead of keeping my eyes fixed on the Lord. I had to remind myself that God will never lie to me. He will never talk evil about me. He will never betray me. Nor will he hurt me. He will always care and value me. 

During a recent Sunday sermon, the Lord showed me, no matter how bad things might look now, to keep my eyes on Him and trust Him with the outcome. “There are things that happen in one’s life that can appear as a Setback, but trust God during the process. Believe in Him, and watch Him work it out for His honour and Glory.” I left church that Sunday knowing that no matter what I might be facing, I know that God has a special purpose for my life. God will use my struggle for His glory. 

Do you believe God has a timing for everything, because I certainly do. In January, our Pastor’s wife started taking us through the book of Proverbs and we started exploring our  temperaments and how the Proverbs can help shape us into the women God desires us to be. I discovered that because I’m a people pleaser who deeply values connections and friendships, it's extremely difficult to accept when someone no longer wants to be a part of my life and even more difficult for me to let them go. Then one day, I had an epiphany. Debbie, wake up! don’t worry yourself. You are blessed, and there are people in your life who love and appreciate you. Stop stressing yourself out. So I did just that, I let go of the situation, I placed it in God’s hand as He asked me to. 

If your friends, relatives or loved ones no longer want to continue with the friendship you once had, let it go. If your once cordial and courteous coworkers are now giving you the cold shoulder despite your kind efforts, let it go. If your children no longer want to maintain a relationship with you no matter how hard you try, let it go. If your spouse no longer loves or desires you, let it go. 

Let go and let God. Let go of all the self will and self effort you’ve been mustering up, trying to fix the problem and let God intervene and have His way. Surrender those relationships into His hands and trust that He will bring restoration and reconciliation - because only He can. God is able to give you more than any friendship or relationship can give. Pick yourself up and remain in your sorrow and self pity no more - you are valuable and God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Trust in Him and look to Him. He desires to have a fulfilling relationship with you where He will provide you with abundant peace, joy and satisfaction. Look no longer to people or things for your comfort - find comfort in the unwavering, unshakable and unconditional love of your Heavenly Father. You are worth it. 

As I finished writing this post, I opened another devotional, First 15, and saw the headline, Friendship with the Holy Spirit

I was blessed by the following words: 

“We’ll never have a kinder, more present friend than the God who dwells within us. May we discover the pathway he’s laid before us to grow in friendship with Him today, as we take time to experience Him in a fresh way.

In friendship with God comes peace, security, honesty, healing, and freedom. 

God longs for friendship with His people. And through the Holy Spirit we have a continual connection with God available to us. The Spirit desires to do life with you. He wants to guide you, speak to you, and love you. He wants to satisfy your longing for a relationship and can do so in greater ways than you can imagine.”

I’m extremely thankful for my friendship with the Holy Spirit and His constant revelation and reminder of truth. The truth that is constantly rebuking, disciplining and teaching me how to manoeuvre through life’s difficult and challenging situations by submitting to and finding comfort in God’s word. The truth that is teaching me how to hold my peace in the midst of peril and counseling me to do what is right. And lastly, the truth that is currently reminding me that I am God’s treasured possession.