How Are You?

“What You Believe, Will Form The Way You Behave.”

Over the past two months, I shared my struggles, victories and successes regarding my battle with anxiety. As a follower of Christ, I was not exempt from anxiety - none of us are. I continuously dwelt on negative experiences, nursed negative feelings, and reminisced on the hurtful things that were said to me. And what did I do? I suppressed those feelings, and as a result, the devil capitalised on them by attacking my mind. It was my duty to resist him, but I didn’t. Instead, I allowed a stronghold to be formed.

Mistakes I made were going off in my head like a broken record, and to make matters worse, I didn’t speak with anyone - not even my husband - because I feared they’d think I’m crazy or didn’t care enough to intervene. Although those thoughts were unhealthy and extremely destructive, I chose to suffer in silence. I lashed out at my husband whenever he did or said something that triggered me, and when asked, “how are you?” my automatic response was, I’m fine. Well, I was far from being fine. I needed help, but I was too ashamed to ask for it.

Fast forward years later, the passing of my mom and brother had my anxiety at an all-time high. With any ailment I experienced in my body, I panicked. I had finished exercising one day, and for some reason, I decided to check my blood pressure. Well, it was higher than normal, and I quickly went into panic mode. I must’ve checked my pressure over ten times that day, and each time I checked, I became more anxious. When my husband came home, I told him I needed to go to the emergency room due to my high blood pressure. He had me sit for a while, and although it dropped a bit, I still wanted to go, so he took me.

Just before we left, I told one of our daughters we were going to the hospital because my blood pressure was high. She suggested I go lay down, and check again in the morning. Morning? I didn’t want to wait that long. Knowing high blood pressure runs in my family, and some of my aunts died from strokes, I was not taking any chances. Once there, the nurse asked if I suffered from HBP, which I responded no, and proceeded to explain what happened during the day. She explained it wasn’t wise to check so many times, and the high reading was a result of becoming anxious. After seeing the doctor who repeated the same thing, I was sent home. When I awoke the next morning, I realised I had to change. This wasn’t a healthy lifestyle for me, or my family. It was time to get well.

After last month’s post, I received the following message from a reader:

“Thanks again for sharing as openly and honestly as you do. Mental health, just as physical health, is something that affects the best and the worst of us. Having said that, we are all quick to see our docs and specialists regarding our physical complaints, but many of us are embarrassed and ashamed to admit or seek help for our mental health issues. Speaking openly about such issues is indeed a great step in helping to not only remove the taboo associated, but also to save the lives of many sufferers.”

If mental health is such a big part of our well being, why don’t we seek help for it? There are many struggling with mental health issues, but are too afraid to openly talk about it. So what do they do? Go through life pretending all is well, when in fact, they are on the brink of losing it. Friends, it doesn’t have to be this way. Help is available. Just before seeking professional help a few years ago, I came across a YouTube video by Dr. Anita Phillips entitled Good Ground. While listening to it, she said something that got my attention…

‘Prayer is your weapon, therapy will be your strategy.’

That was it! I was praying and being prayed for, but I still seemed stuck. I had the weaponry, but no strategy. I was like a soldier on the battlefield who had the right weapon, but no strategy to defeat the enemy. Our weapons must be accompanied with a strategy. After hearing those words, I realised there was nothing wrong with seeking professional help, and making that call was one of the wisest decisions I’ve ever made. My therapist had me face the two year old me, that little girl who was hurting and filled with fear over things she had experienced. During those sessions, I confronted the various emotions that held me captive all those years. I saw how lonely I was. How scared I was. How helpless I was. Those eight sessions were such an eye opening and freeing experience, and all it took was me asking for help. My therapist was a tremendous help; however, it's up to me to continue walking in freedom.

One of my morning rituals consists of prayerfully reciting my verse for the year, by saying, “LORD, keep creating in me a clean heart. Fill me with pure thoughts and holy desires, ready to please you.” (Psalms 51:10 TPT). Despite how long I was in my unhealthy state, the power of God plus therapy helped me, and is still helping me. I couldn’t have gotten through this without His help. I am constantly reminded that, “What I Believe, Will Form The Way I Behave.” I know to equip myself with the Word and pay attention to my thought patterns. I confess that I am made whole, and have a Sound Mind.

In the words of Dr. Anita, the first step to healing, is the awareness that you need help. Ask for help! Don’t isolate yourself from the people who love you. Don’t believe the lies of the devil that you are worthless and unloved. You are SO LOVED by God. He desires to give you a sound mind so you can understand Him better and live healthier. Today, I’m much better and I thank God!

To those suffering with mentally ailments or illness, hang in there. There is hope, help and healing available to you. Just as He helped me, He can certainly help you too.