What A Mother-In-Law!

This post is dedicated to my beautiful Mother-in-Love.

In 2016, our ladies ministry began a series alongside Nancy DeMoss’ teaching, The Titus 2 Woman. During the series, I started thinking about what it would be like to have such a woman in my life; someone honest, someone I can trust; someone who wouldn’t gossip about me, but had my best interest at heart; someone who’d mentor me, give guidance and offer wise counsel. Does such a woman even exist? I continued pondering on all the possibilities, and shortly after, my mother-in-law crossed my mind. As I began analyzing our relationship and the role she played in my life - that’s when it hit me! She’s indeed a Titus 2 older woman! She’s the one I’ve been longing for all along. How could I have missed that?!

As a young girl in Grenada, I remember occasionally seeing her browsing through the market. What always caught my attention was the way she walked - shoulders upright and head held high. It was such a sight to behold as she gracefully paraded the market square, going from vendor to vendor to purchase goods. I didn’t know her personally at the time, but she was a woman I admired from afar. A few years later, I eventually started attending the same church as her children, and became friends with one of her daughters. One Sunday, her daughter invited me over for lunch, and that’s when I realized she was the same woman from the market! I can still recall the events of that lovely afternoon. I was given a window seat at the dinner table, which gave me an outside view of the passers by. I was served a plate of delicious food - rice and peas, plantain, sweet potatoes, callaloo, stew chicken and salad. Yum. I was treated very well, as she occasionally looked over and asked if I needed anything. She was very hospitable, and I felt such warmth in her presence. She made me feel at home. Little did she know the young teenage girl she was serving would become her daughter-in-law one day. Little did I know.

Fast forward to June 17th, 1989 - the day I married her son. Since my mother wasn’t around at the time, she played a vital role in our wedding preparations, and was a great support leading up to that memorable day. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. Shortly after getting married, my husband and I needed curtains for our new apartment, and she decided to accompany me since I wasn’t familiar with the city. Since this was the first time I was with her without my husband, I was a bit intimidated, but that quickly disappeared the moment she started speaking. I’ll never forget the soft words she uttered to me as we traveled on the bus, “even though you are married to my son, I encourage you to have some money. Don’t just sit down, work and contribute financially.” I didn’t know what to make of it at first, but I remember saying I will. We continued chatting until we reached our stop, and although I can't remember everything she shared that day, I remember leaving feeling encouraged and motivated to live better - to do better.

I eventually took her advice and began looking for employment. Being new to Canada, I didn’t know where to start and decided to apply to several companies. Thankfully, shortly after I received a call for an interview with a Ladies Clothing Store, and eventually got the job! Overflowing with excitement, I called my mother-in-law right away, but my excitement was soon extinguished. Someone who was living with her at the time, misheard her conversation with two other family members regarding my unemployment, and the next day, I received a call to inform me of what my mother-in-law said. I was crushed. Why was she talking about me? I remember crying to my husband later that day as I shared what was disclosed to me. The next day, my husband decided to visit his mom in order to disclose what occurred, and when he got home that evening, he presented me with a letter from her. She apologized for what was said to me, which was much different from what the person overheard. The person heard the latter part of her statement which was, “now she can help out Sam” but didn’t hear her previous statement of, “I'm so happy for her!” I admired her humility. She didn’t have to write to me, nor apologize, but she took responsibility to set the record straight - and I appreciated her for that.

Over the years, she’s been consistent in her attitude and behaviour toward me - she’s never treated me differently. We became friends, and she became a valuable mother-figure in my life. I could pick up the phone and talk to her about anything. If there was an issue with our family, or I just needed advice, I could always rely on her. We’d call each other to check up and she’d never hang up without sharing encouraging words. I’ve heard many negative things and names given to mothers-in-law that thankfully, I’d never experienced with her. Control freak. Mother-in-law from hell. Meddler. Witch - to name a few, but I’m grateful my mother-in-law doesn’t fall into either of these categories. She offers guidance, but doesn’t aim to control; she’s a gift sent from heaven, and doesn’t get involved in trivial affairs, but always seeks to share a word of wisdom.

As petite as she is - standing at only 4' 11”, she's packed with so much contentment, wisdom, kindness, hospitality and encouragement. This wonderful, God-fearing woman I call Muz, has supported me through many of my milestones, as a new bride, a new mother, a new driver - she was there, and still is. She’s always there to celebrate with my family no matter the occasion. She always has something to offer me during a visit, no matter how small it might be. She always sends me a card and a gift for my birthday, and never misses a year. These are just a few of the many phenomenal things she does because of the phenomenal woman she is. Unfortunately, we often wait until someone leaves us to say meaningful things they’ll never hear, so I’m taking the opportunity to let my Mother-in-law know how much she means to me. How much she has blessed my life, and for this, I say thank you!

King Soloman asked the question in Proverbs 31:10 “who can find a virtuous woman?” And my answer is, I can, she’s my Mother-in-Law.